2 Corinthians 12:9
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
New International Version
Joshua struggled most of his life with some kind of weakness. It wasn't until the past couple years when he started attending Crossroads Recovery, a Christ centered recovery group that focuses on overcoming life’s hurts, habits, and hangups, that he actually realized all that he had struggled with.
Starting Out
Although his parents never married, Joshua still grew up in a loving home. He lived with his mom and her husband and would spend every other weekend with my dad. Christ/church were never really a staple in either homes, but he would attend church with friends occasionally, most often with his best friend that lived down the road. He remembers getting saved in the hallway next to the gym during a game of dodgeball, but was young and honestly didn’t really know what he was doing.
Finding Comfort
Joshua’s best friend moved away in the second grade and he stopped attending church. He found out that he was moving at the end of the third grade school year and was angry, depressed, and started to rebel. He didn't do his school work, became troublesome at home and was grounded most of the time.
That same year there were multiple instances in which the stepson of his babysitter was touching him inappropriately. “I was too scared to tell anyone and did whatever I could to avoid thinking about it.” Joshua says, that’s when the first coping mechanism developed; eating.
Finding comfort in food, Joshua started getting bigger which sent him further into depression, to which he found even more comfort in food.
New Coping Mechanisms
After moving, Joshua had no problem making new friends, but never quite felt that he truly fit in anywhere. “I had developed a tendency of being a yes man just so I can try to fit in. I was never a leader, but always a follower.” Joshua told me
As years went on, Joshua began finding other coping mechanisms. At about age 13 he found a bottle of peppermint schnapps that he’d sip on whenever depressed. At 16 he tried marijuana for the first time, and was willing to do just about anything to hide his depression and not show any emotions.
Freedom
His mom and her husband moved to Goshen when he was 17 and Joshua was sent to stay in Crawfordsville with his uncle to finish out his high school career. That gave him a little more freedom, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. At this point, he was regularly smoking marijuana, drinking more often, and had started using Xanax.
From Bad to Worse
A couple of days after his 19th birthday, Joshua moved to Goshen with his parents and started work on April 16th, 2010. On April 21st, he had an accident with a table saw and amputated 2 of his fingers. This incident introduced him to painkillers and shortly after returning to work, he was using Adderall and trying to find any painkillers that he could.
His girlfriend at the time and her daughter left because of his addiction, making matters worse. Joshua started selling pills to pay for his habit, started selling and using cocaine, and was willing to put just about anything up his nose. It eventually came to a point where anything just wouldn't cut it for him anymore and he started using methamphetamine. His life was spiraling out of control, “I had lost the love of my life and the little girl that called me Daddy. I had been evicted from our apartment, and moved around from place to place, had my car repossessed twice, lost my job of 8 years, and was stealing to try and make ends meet, pay for my habits, and to be able to feed myself” Joshua said
Criminal Lifestyle
In May of 2019 Joshua was caught shoplifting. “Criminal lifestyle is not for me and I obviously wasn't very good at it because loss prevention followed me out of the store and I knew I was caught.” Joshua took everything he had stolen, sat it on the ground, and ran to his car.
The officer had seen two white vehicles leaving the store, he approached Joshua’s first, asked where he was coming from and Joshua immediately blurted out “I gave everything back”. While bonding himself out of jail, they found a bag of meth and he was also booked for possession. He did a year probation and was successfully discharged. Because of covid, everything was virtual so he had no problem cruising right through probation.
The 2nd Arrest
At this point he didn't think he had a problem and continued using and In July of 2021, Joshua was arrested again. The night prior to his arrest, he had a run in with the police. They questioned him and told him that he was free to go, until another cop showed up and recognized him from a prior arrest and requested to search the vehicle. Since Joshua had already been released, he declined, and they informed him that his license had also been suspended.
Joshua pushed his car into a parking spot and left on foot. The next night the cop that had questioned him had seen him out driving and pulled him over for driving while suspended. He had noticed a strong chemical smell coming from Joshua’s car, placed him in handcuffs and sat him in the back of his car while he searched Joshua’s.
Joshua was arrested for possession of methamphetamine, and possession of paraphernalia for the second time. This time, however, his family was on vacation, so he sat in jail for a week until his parents found someone to bail him out on July 7th 2021.
Getting Help
Joshua moved back in with his parents to get some help and his step dad told him that if he wanted to continue living there, that he needed to attend weekly meetings and get some support because he couldn't do this on his own.
Joshua used for the last time on July 10th, 2021 and began attending, at the time, what was called Celebrate Recovery. “I began to feel comfortable there, I didn’t feel judged because of what I had done in my past. Everyone welcomed me with open arms and I felt for the first time in my life that I actually fit in somewhere.” Joshua started attending regularly on Sundays and began to grow his relationship with Christ.
Through recovery group, Joshua began a step study and as they got farther into the books, and the more he listened to the 12 Steps, baptism was frequently on his mind. As a group they had decided to fast for 24 hours and just listen to what God was saying to them.
“It took absolutely no time for God to intervene, I received a text at 7:00 am asking me if I had ever been baptized and if I hadn’t, to think about what my life would look like.”
This was an answer to Joshua’s prayers and something he thinks about a lot as God’s divine intervention. “I was in tears when I immediately responded that I wanted to.” Joshua told me
Baptism
Joshua was baptized on February 27th 2002, and everything started to fall in place. He started volunteering on Sundays, and was approached to become a leader at Crossroads Recovery.
“I met so many new people and created so many new friendships, I've grown in my faith, and now I'm able to help others grow in theirs.”
Joshua was able to start an offsite recovery program, which ultimately failed, but also allowed him to step into leadership with the recovery program at Faith Mission. He is able to help others who are struggling with some of the same weaknesses that he has dealt with and help them find comfort.
Restoring
Joshua restored a heavily damaged relationship with his family, is able to see the little girl that he raised, and is 3 years sober as of July 10th. He starts school in September for Ministry prep and believes that none of this would be possible without his willingness to surrender his life to God.
“He gave me a forever family at Crossroads, who I know is there to support me and encourage me and for that I'm forever grateful. I have a whole new outlook on life.”
Romans 5:3-5
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."
New Living Translation
2 Corinthians 12:10
"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
New International Version
